Spank or he'll SHOOT!

I know you've been waiting for the comeback, so here we go again. Check out this article I just read. It talks about a study on spanking. Of course it's a study against spanking...

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2010/04/13/2010-04-13_spanking_kids_makes_them_more_aggressive_defiant_and_prone_to_tantrums.html

DISAGREE!

My experience in college and sales has taught me that statistics can be made to prove anything. This article would have you believe that spanking kids turns them into aggressive children. Hmm... I beg to differ. Seriously? Maybe if you abused them, but not correct spanking for discipline. I believe that if more people spanked there children in the first place there would be less crime! Spanking a child should be explained, and executed quickly. Doing this teaches the child that what they did was wrong and there are consequences for their actions.

My wife Erin was in the local grocery store a few years ago when our oldest was 3 years old. While in the spaghetti jar aisle, Isaiah was acting less than perfect. As a result, Erin told him he needed to sit in the cart since he wasn't listening. Isaiah about blew a gasket, he screamed, he hollered, then he proceeded to kick the cart away. That was enough for my beautiful 8 months pregnant wife to smack his butt. It was quickly after that a nosy woman shopper walked up to Erin and informed her that she always spanked her children, but some people would report that. I hope you know Erin, cause if you do you can surely see her doing what happened next. My beautiful wife got in that lady's face and said verbatim, "The way I look at it, if I spank my child now, he won't SHOOT yours later!" That lady walked away pretty fast and ensured she wasn't in the same aisle as Erin the rest of the shopping trip. HA!

TRU DAT! We need more parents that spank. Forget this BS about it will make them aggressive. IT WILL MAKE THEM LISTEN!

Speak softly and carry a big stick

As parents we should follow through with our words. How many times have you heard a parent threaten a child and not follow through. Here's an idea... don't threaten with "I'm going to throw away all your toys." and then it doesn't happen. If you say something, follow through. No threats. There should be a single warning and if they fail to heed, take action. Your children will learn to listen the first time. And they will know you mean business.

Happy Thanksgiving!

No momma's boys!

aahhh!??? Are you going to go cry to mommy??? LOL. Yep, that's what the kids say to the boys that don't stick up for themselves and go cry off somewhere. Were you that boy? Are you raising that boy? Hopefully not. If so, hopefully by reading this you'll start raising tough boys. Seriously, you're boy can take it. Don't baby him. Recently I was incharge of boys at an overnight field trip at a camp. I was warned about one of the boys. "He will not last all night", is what I was told all night by several adults that knew him. Me being the optimist knew this was the thing I can handle. This boy obvisously had been cuddled by his parents. My first impression of him included him crying that he didn't get a top bunk, since the other boys already picked the spots that they were going to sleep. SERIOUSLY!?!? I immediately pulled the boy outside and told sternly told him to "man up". "No crying." "You don't get to cry for not getting a top bunk." Now this boy had grown up getting his way by crying and throwing a fit. I'm not the one to give in. After my conversation he calmed down.

What did I do? I stood my ground. That's it. You don't raise your boys to cry for their way. You raise them to be a man. Long story short this boy was given no chance. Apparently his parents didn't even think he would make it all night. Honestly I believe about 7 or 8 adults warned me and told me there is no way he would make it through the night. Well guess what? He made it. Sure I had to tell him to quiet down. Sure I told him to stop crying. But, I didn't give up on him. And in the morning, I told him I was proud of him making it through. I talked to him about being a man. That is what he needed. No momma's boys! Be a man!

Sibling Fighting

Tough boys fight? Really? LOL. In my house sibling fighting is a daily, sometimes hourly event. An unauthorized UFC event involving three tough boys, all which they believe they're the strongest, best, and always right. There just being boys! Chill people! Especially the people that don't have or understand boys that look at you like you're smoking crack when you watch your boys beat the crap out of each other and look at you in amazement that you're not stopping them immediately. Hey, I'd much rather have them practice and be beat up by their brothers than other kids. And guess what??? If anyone does mess with them, all of a sudden they all will knock the crap out of that poor soul.

Do I encourage the fights? No. Do I play fight with them? Yes. Do I punch them harder than normal Dad's? Heck yeah. I don't want them to be normal. I want my boys to be tougher than others. This is a blog about raising tough boys, not raising boys to be wimps and cry. LOL! How many of you are going to disagree with what I'm saying??? HA! Now for those wondering, I give you permission to ask my boys if I hurt them when I punch and fight with them. I'm pretty confident they'll laugh at you and say no.

All of my boys are interest in MMA. I'm in Judo and they ask when they can start going consistently. It will be a blast watching them in tournaments.

Here's a proud moment that happened not too long ago... My 6 year old was "play fighting" with a boy that was 9. My son was dominating the other boy. Just so you know I wouldn't consider the other boy a wimp, I'd actually classify him as a tough boy. However, at one point during the fight when my son was getting punched he smarted off to the kid "HAHAHA! You're 3 years older than me and you can't hurt or beat me!" Yes, I am proud. I will enjoy your responses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you proud of your tough boy?

I'm very proud of my sons. I tell them all the time. Do you? This means a HUGE deal to a boy coming from his father! Seriously, fathers are looked at as the closest thing in the child's mind of the image of God. Boys only want to be accepted and have their father be proud of them. Sooooo, tell them! It's that simple.

Try this... "I love you son. I will always love you no matter what. Do you know why? Cause you're MY son. I'm so proud of you son." This will make your son's day. Give him a huge hug.

Next we'll talk about fighting...

Tough Boys Need Hugs Too

YEP! It's true. Tough boys need hugs too. I figured this was a good subject since my last one left people thinking I was a big ol' meanie. (You know who you are!) At any rate. We all need hugs.

However boys need hugs expecially from their fathers or father figures. OK, this is my first book plug, I'm serious when I say I'm getting no commission for this! Dr. James Dobson from Focus on the Family wrote a book and an educational series on "Bringing Up Boys". Here's a link to an excerpt on their website: http://www2.focusonthefamily.com/docstudy/bookshelf/a000000388.cfm. Fathers listen up! You want your little man to grow up and be a strong, tough, man??? Then you better fill his emotional and physical gas tank by #1 being there for him, #2 hugging him, and #3 telling him you love him. HUGS are huge! Have you ever had a hug that just made you feel safe, comforted, strong? Especially you fathers need to provide that to your boys. They will still be tough boys! They will also be tough emotionally and not just physically.

Try it. Want another cool trick??? Moms you can use this too. When your child comes home from school or anytime that they walk in, RUN TO THEM! It's hilarious! Run straight to the door yelling their name and arms open ready to give the biggest hug in the world! You think they will feel good? You think this will fill their emotional gas tank? Absolutely.

Think about this... For those of you that have a dog, who is the first one to great you at the door when you come home? THE DOG! And what do your kids and spouse do??? Keep doing what they're doing and say "hey..." WOW! What a great feeling huh? Just get home from a long day and the dog appreciates you being home more than your family. Soooooooo, try this with your children and/or spouse for that matter. RUN AT THE DOOR YELLING THEIR NAME AND GREATING THEM WITH OPEN ARMS!!! They make think you're cRaZy. But, it works for me. And people that know me already think I'm crazy so I have nothing to worry about.

Alrighty then, enough for today... Tomorrow on Raising Tough Boys... Are you proud of him???

~Love peace and chicken grease

Don't rush to pick them up!

Have you ever witnessed a boy falling and the mom running to pick them up? Chances are the boy was crying, however only after the boy saw the look on the mom's face. Don't rush to pick him up! That boy is going to take more falls. He will survive. Let him sit there for a minute.

Here's my two cents... when you rush to pick up the boy, he doesn't learn to get over his pain on his own. Instead he associates pain followed by being coddled. What is this going to do when the boy is not surrounded by his mom or dad? I'll tell you what will happen... the boy will fall, he will look for someone to come pick him and and he will cry like a little baby. Then the adults and other children that are around are going to look at him and think "what a wuss". I'm just saying... You know some of you have thought this... I'm just saying it.

Disclaimer... Now obvisouly if the boy has a severe injury you do want to pick him up and get help or medical attention. Do your boy a favor... don't run to pick him up. Instead tell him "Well that hurt didn't it?" , "Yeah, son sometimes you fall, it stings for a bit, now get up and be a man." LOL. OK, I'm not totally like that. You do need compassion. Boys do need hugs. However, that's my next subject.